"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void." Kathleen Kelly You've Got Mail
i have been thinking about my blog lately. It seems to me to have lost its personality. Which oddly enough, or not so oddly, is a reflection of me. I feel like i have lost a bit of my personality. i am holding myself back. I know this because i am a bit scared. I fear being judged. i admit it. Somewhere along the way, i lost my ability to take risks. to really live with reckless abandonment.
ok maybe not so much reckless, maybe thought out but sometimes spontaneous abandonment.
to put my feelings & thoughts into this blog without worries. I think i could probably pinpoint the moment it happen. I won't rehash it. It so isn't worth it. But i am the only one who can make changes to me. To start to live again through my words. without fear of being judged. i am not saying judging won't happen. it will. but i can choose to be affected by those words or i can stand secure in who i am. Use my filter to pull out the negative intentions, focus on the positive ones to make me a better person and move forward. to open myself up and see what is roaming around in there.
